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The Bump X The Garcia Diaries (Instagram Takeover)

April 21, 2019

Last week I was so honored to takeover The Bump for an entire day and share my story. Parts of my story that I’ve never shared before. I’ll be completely honest – I was so nervous, but it turned out amazing. I met so many wonderful women that I relate to – cranio moms, teen moms, rainbow mamas… it was truly incredible. In case you missed it, I’m sharing each of the posts below…

Introduction

Hi! My name is Bethanie and I’m a blogger over at @thegarciadiaries. I’m married to my highschool sweetheart–we will celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary in a few months! Together, we have 4 children: Brooklynn (age 5), Harlym (age 4), Deuce (age 3) and Bronx (8 months). We live in Gilbert, AZ. Instagram is so oversaturated with overly filtered photos of white walls, white bedspreads, clean homes, perfect families and I’ll be honest — when I first became a mom, I felt like a failure. I couldn’t get my sh*t together, meanwhile all these other moms were killing it (or so it seemed). On my blog and Instagram, I share REAL motherhood truths. I share the scary, hard, ugly moments because there’s not enough of that in this space. I’m so excited to take over @thebump today and share some of my truths with you guys.

View the post on The Bump here.

Teen Pregnancy

I’ve actually never talked about that fact that I was a teen mom. It’s not that I’m embarrassed or ashamed… it’s more-so that I want people to see me for who I am NOW and not who I was then.

When I was 18 years old and in my first semester of college, I got pregnant. My boyfriend and I had been together for a year at the time. My parents wanted me to get an abortion, but my boyfriend and I wouldn’t consider it. We decided to get married. And it was HARD. Every moment of my pregnancy was filled with anxiety, depression, fear. We were completely broke – working minimum wage jobs, food stamps, government insurance. Brooklynn was born and completely changed my world. I’m so grateful every day for the questionable decisions that led to her. Now, I’m 24 and she’s 5 years old (she’ll be 6 really soon) and she’s about to graduate kindergarten. She’s the best big sister in the world and the light of our lives.

View the post on The Bump here.

Mental Health

I grew up with such an extreme stigma around mental health. I started struggling with severe anxiety in elementary school, through middle and high school and beyond. I was taught to pray for my anxious heart and that God could heal me. No matter how hard I prayed, with tears streaming down my face, crying out to God… nothing changed. Then I became a mom.

Postpartum depression and anxiety threw me for a loop. And on top of that, having two babies within a year? I was so far deep into my depression that I couldn’t have pulled myself out if I tried. I was referred to a psychiatrist who put me on a few different meds until we landed on Zoloft. I’ve been on Zoloft since 2015 and one thing I always say is I have NO CLUE how I went so long without it. Two months after starting meds, I was happier, having less angry outbursts, smiling, wanting to actually be around people, etc. I wish I had had the opportunity to be put on medication when I was much younger. If you’re struggling, REACH OUT to someone you trust. Get help, mama. Your life deserves to be lived without feeling anxious and depressed day in and day out. ♥️ so many of us stand with you.

View the post on The Bump here.

Craniosynostosis

When my only son Deuce was born in April of 2016, one of the first things we noticed was that his head was very long and had a ridge in the back. We mentioned it at his two month well check…his doctor immediately diagnosed him with sagittal craniosynostosis and referred us to a neurosurgeon and plastic surgeon. (Crazily enough, our doctor had experience with this condition—A lot of times cranio doesn’t get diagnosed this early and is missed.) At our appointment with the surgeons, they took scans and measurements and told us that our sweet three month old baby boy would need skull surgery. They said that because we caught it so early, he was a candidate for the endoscopic surgery, which would only leave him two small scars and a much shorter recovery time. After his surgery, he wore a docband for 8 months. A few months later, at a checkup with his plastic surgeon, she noticed that his head was rapidly regressing and that his first surgery was unsuccessful. This was confirmed by the neuro surg. and they told us that he would need a cranial vault reconstruction (open, ear to ear surgery). He had the surgery two months before his 2nd birthday.

Craniosynostosis is a birth defect in which one or more of the sutures in a baby’s skull close before the baby’s brain has fully formed. When the joints close too early, the brain pushes against the skull as it continues to grow. Craniosynostosis can also cause increased pressure in the brain, which can lead to vision loss, learning problems, and seizures.

Both of his surgeries shook me to my core, but they taught me so much about myself as a mother and about my son. Today, he is doing fantastic (he’s a wild child – you’d never know what he’s been through). We’re hopeful that he won’t need another surgery. ♥️

View the post on The Bump here.

Miscarriage

When my third child was 18 months old, we decided to start trying for our last baby. We wanted all of our kids to be close in age. I got pregnant pretty quickly and we were SO happy. Everything was going well, until one night when I started spotting. I figured it was implantation bleeding and didn’t think too much of it–until it started getting worse. I ended up in the ER where I was told I was most likely experiencing a miscarriage. This began some of the hardest few weeks of my life. On top of the unbearable emotional pain and thoughts of your body failing you, you’re greeted with the intense physical pain of losing a pregnancy–the bleeding, the cramps. I wasn’t prepared for any of it. But we got through it. A few short months later, I found out I was pregnant again. I had barely had time to grieve the previous pregnancy. I decided not to get excited. Weeks passed and we got to hear the heartbeat, then we found out our precious baby was a girl. Every moment that should have been filled with happiness and joy was overshadowed by fear and anxiety. The fear never fully faded until they laid her on my chest and I heard her cry. That was the first moment that I felt peace and closure in over a year. My rainbow baby girl changed my life and made me a much stronger person and mom. I am so, so grateful for her.

View the post on The Bump here.

Childbirth

When I had my first baby, I was told that childbirth was painful. I watched YouTube videos and read articles. But nothing prepared me for what comes directly after childbirth… I didn’t know that I would need stitches on my vagina or that I would bleed for over 6 weeks or that I wouldn’t be able to walk or sit normally for weeks. I didn’t know that sex wouldn’t feel normal for a VERY LONG TIME. By baby #4, I was extremely prepared and even told my family and friends to pray for my vagina and the great sacrifice it was about to make. If you know, you know… 🤣🤣 Thank you guys so much for hanging out with me today! You can find me over at @thegarciadiaries – I love sharing real and raw motherhood truths and would love for you to follow me over there! 🧡 Xo, Bethanie

View the post on The Bump here.

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