Last night, I hit 20,000 followers on Instagram. I am so excited, honored, relieved and a million other emotions.
I have put a lot of effort into Instagram (which probably wasn’t wise, because I neglected my other platforms) but to see my hard work pay off is such an amazing feeling.
To be recognized for my hard work feels even better. My husband being so incredibly proud of me and telling me over and over again – it takes the cake.
One thing that has become increasingly harder for me as I grow is the mean comments from people, hiding behind a screen. It’s even harder when I know them in real life and they pretend to be a friend.
At the start of 2017, I posted a reader survey to the blog and got so many positive reactions and comments. It was really helpful because I was able to see what my readers want more of, less of, what they love to read and what they love to buy. The last comment I got before I closed my survey was not so positive.
What’s funny is – my tech guy tracked the IP address and we actually know who wrote it. What’s not funny is how hurt I felt for weeks after reading this. Even though I know in my heart that it’s not true and that this person is sad, lonely, and insecure… it still hurt.
“You are not at all who you portray yourself to be on social media. I’ve seen you in person with a room full of people several times and you are very anti social and hardly looked up from your phone. I was shocked at who I thought you were from social media but actually show yourself to be in real
life. You can improve yourself by actually putting down the phone and talking and holding a real conversation with someone. But your husband is amazing at taking care of the kids while you are oblivious to what’s going on around you.”
I really should’t have to explain myself at all. Especially to someone who takes the time to be such a negative force of energy in this world. But after two months of letting this marinate, I want to say a few things:
Social situations can be very excruciating for me. Sometimes, I need to escape to the back bedroom during a family get-together, just to take a breath. Sometimes, during parties (NYE, for example), I go into a bedroom and just fall asleep. Being around people takes a lot out of me. There is no cure for depression and anxiety, but I know my triggers and when I start to feel my throat close in and my mind shut down, I need to be alone. Sometimes, there is no escape so I go on my phone and work. By the way, did you know I work 40-50 hours a week? Most of it can be done from my phone or my computer (the perks of being a blogger and online influencer and online magazine pr director)! Would you rather me spend 50 hours a week in an office away from my kids? Because I would rather spend 24/7 with my kids and work from home and from my phone, when need be.
I guess my point is this: you can’t please everyone. And why would I want to? That sounds insanely boring.
I have had to distance myself from people who don’t have my family’s best interests at heart. I’ve had to block people who have copied me relentlessly, stolen idea after idea and have attempted to ride my coattails like it’s their own magic carpet. I’ve had to toughen up and *attempt* to thicken my skin (easier said than done).
At the end of the day, I only care about what my husband and children think of me. They are all that matters.
I want to say thank you, to every single person who has supported me and my career. To the 20,000 people that follow me on Instagram, to the 150,000 people who read my blog every month… You are AMAZING and I am so grateful for you. Truly, I couldn’t do this without you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.